Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
