OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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