direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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