let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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