i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
