i permit you to call me
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
