I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
