how can u be prego again
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize