I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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