Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
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my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
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Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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