The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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