Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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