It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
dude. I can hear the air.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
