If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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