Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
