Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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