hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
