I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
