1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
