Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
