The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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