Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize