I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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