The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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