just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
