last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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