Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
