Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
