he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No subtext here. People are naked.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
