I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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