i don't like sucking hair
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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