We should be called the Road Head Warriors
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
