I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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