Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
