I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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