And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The power of my boobs compel you
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
