just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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