Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
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I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
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Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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