I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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