I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
