i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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