real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
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she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
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U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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