your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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