All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Dear god my vagina.
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