I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
