Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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