Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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