even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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