I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
