I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
