We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
