Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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