I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I touched a dick in church today
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
