you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
